Why so serious?
How your self-talk affects the way you train.
Have you ever seen motivational posters of athletes training? Their faces are full of determination, grit, dominance, and effort. While we may not try to emulate these idols while training, we often imagine that “real” athletes are disciplined, focused, and driven.
Your mental state can greatly impact your physiological output. Understanding what helps to improve your attitude and style of self-talk can dramatically change your performance and perception of stress during training.
Do you hate training? If so, the first thing to look at is what it sounds like in your head during the hour or so you spend working out. Would anyone else find it pleasant or even tolerable? If not, this may be part of the problem! The good news is there is something you can do about it.
No pain, no gain?
If you’ve seen Rocky or Remember the Titans, you know there isn’t much room for play, softness, or even joy while training. It’s meant to be a grind, and if you aren’t grinding, you’re not working hard enough. In the martial arts gym I grew up in, there were signs plastered across the front of the gym with the quote, “Pain is weakness leaving the body.” Fitness culture loves to tell us that suffering equals success and that this is what a “real” athlete looks like. While this is beginning to change in many circles, it’s not hard to imagine why this kind of messaging might affect people’s attitudes and fears about exercise.
So what does an athlete really look like?
First, you need to accept that most training sessions consist of getting the job done and probably look a little…boring. Sometimes we call this “checking the box.” You’ll push slightly beyond your comfort zone but not much further than that. Ideally, training sessions are small, repeatable efforts that add up over time. What can make it feel harder (or easier) is how you speak to yourself while doing it.
What does your headspace sound like when you train? If it’s a soundtrack that no one else would want to listen to, you might want to consider how you talk to yourself.
I’m familiar with the negative stream of thoughts that feel like trying to drag an anchor while sprinting. I used to hate running for this reason. Every session, after the first two minutes or so, the brutal tape of negative self-talk would begin and it was the most excruciating and unpleasant 30 minutes. This, of course, only amplified any physical pain or discomfort I was experiencing. It would be a never-ending list of nasty criticisms that just got louder and louder.
Why would anyone subject themselves to this? Like myself, people often assume that training just isn’t for them. The idea of a runner’s high seems like a far-fetched dream.
What Can You Do About It?
Observe
First, try just observing what it sounds like.
It took me a long time to understand mindfulness exercises that ask you to examine your thoughts. But then I heard someone frame it like this: “Isn’t that interesting?” Instead of analyzing my thoughts, I started asking myself this when my throat was tight or when I heard those harsh thoughts during training.
It turns out that just putting some distance between myself and this voice was enough to create some space and not turn it into something bigger. Seeing this as information rather than an absolute truth can be the difference between feeling like you’re going to hyperventilate and feeling like you’re taking on a challenge you’re excited to face.
Collaborate
You can also try a more collaborative version of self-talk by using the royal “we.” This idea came from my partner who loves swimming. I’ve noticed that she’s always in a better mood after training so I asked what she thinks about in the water and what she does when faced with a challenge.
She said something I’ve never thought of: she never uses “I” or “you” when talking to herself. Instead, she says “we.” She’ll often use phrases like “We’ve got this,” or simple technical pointers. This seems to make the effort more collaborative and brings an element of camaraderie, even when training alone.
Smile
Lastly, try focusing on your facial expressions and body language. Are you holding excess tension? Are you grimacing or frowning? Frowning affects how you feel, both mentally and physically, and is often a reflection of your internal state.
When you frown, you may also feel more tension, more restricted breathing, and less freedom of movement.
On the contrary, try smiling while doing something physically demanding, like jogging or walking/running uphill. In the few seconds after, you may notice that your shoulders are more relaxed, you feel a little looser, and it’s easier to catch your breath. This is because smiling affects your nervous system. In fact, research shows that maintaining positive facial expressions when recovering from stress can lower your heart rate. Next time you’re struggling to catch your breath, try smiling.
Flow, not force
Changing your attitude about training and what pushing yourself looks like can change how this feels, both mentally and physically. In fact, doing so may even allow you to push harder, while enjoying the experience more.
Next time you’re training and catch yourself furrowing your brow, ask yourself, “Why so serious?” After all, training seriously doesn’t have to mean taking yourself too seriously.
